i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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