I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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