he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
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He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
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I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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