i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Use "feeling words"
Yay
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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