Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to rekindle our bromance
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize