Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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