im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
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You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
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I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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