I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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