If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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