I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize