honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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