sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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