My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize