Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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