my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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