Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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