I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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