I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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