so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
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Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
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At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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