Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize