just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize