dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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