I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize