My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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