You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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