elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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