My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
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Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
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All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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