thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize