i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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