we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
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I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
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You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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