butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
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We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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