pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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