If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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