So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
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She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
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We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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