Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize