Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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