How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Come on in and take your pants off
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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