I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize