so let's talk penis.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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