i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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