so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize