I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
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dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
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We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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