I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Plan B is the new Plan A
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize