It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize