im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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