i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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