Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize