Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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