Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize