I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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